February 21, 2011

"When that day comes I shall futterwacken... vigorously. "

Sometimes I feel like I can't express myself. Like, I'm actually unable to coherently portray the thoughts which go through my mind.
And I feel silly. How can I not be able to say what I'm thinking. It does sound stupid doesn't it? Can I teach myself how to do this? Is there a way to learn, I don't know, "the art of expressing yourself"?
Sometimes I just feel like my mind goes completely blank. Like there are no actual thoughts going through anymore. It's a sudden vacuum, everything is gone and I just sit there a little bit freaked out by this weird feeling. It's weird feeling like you have no thoughts. Nothing going through your mind. It's empty. I wonder why this happens. Maybe it's not because I have no thoughts, maybe it's precisely because I have too many and can't sort them out, so they just end up sitting there in my brain without me being aware they're there because I can't sort them out properly.

Is this making any sense or am I just rambling on? It makes sense to me, in a very twisted way. Maybe I'm going crazy... maybe Alice's Mad Hatter was right,

"There is a place. Like no place on Earth. A land full of wonder, mystery, and danger! Some say to survive it: You need to be as mad as a hatter."

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