...A desire to travel, to understand one's very own existance.
Do you ever feel like you don't know where you belong, where you're meant to be or to go, what you're meant to do, which one's the right path for you to take? Do you ever get those moments where you're just sitting there asking yourself all these existential questions, "who am I", "what am I doing here" "what's the point of my existance" bla bla bla... then hopefully some sense comes back into you and you get back on planet Earth, but I've had a few moments like that in the past few days. I was thinking about what I'm going to do next year, once I graduate. I have all these ideas in mind, I want to go everywhere, do everything, and can't make up my mind. At first I was thinking of doing a masters degree in hotel management in a school I found in Spain, but considering the cost of it I might just start working and get on from there. Then again I'm not even convinced about hotel management either, there are so many great professions out there, why do I have to stick to one... are we really allowed just one passion?! ...damn.
In the end I simply conlcuded that there's no point in deciding now, one year ahead... there is still time and as they say... only time will tell.
For now, I just wish I could pack a suitcase and leave. Travel the world. On my own. I wouldn't want to go with anyone else but me, myself and I. Enjoy my own company, discover myself and who I am with nobody else. It seems quite silly to say "discover who I am". One might say, c'mon how can you not know who you are?! - It's stupid right? Your name is "x", you're "x" years old, you're hobbies are "x" and so on... but then the other day when I had my phone interview for my stage, they asked me "tell us something about yourself" ... well I had no idea what to say. I had suddenly forgotten who I was, what I had done throughout my life, and.. I've done things, been to places. Nothing. My mind was blank.
In the end I saved my a** but that feeling of having no idea what to say about me was weird. This is how I started wandering what it would be like to go on an adventure; just me and the world. I think it would teach me a lot, and I believe most people would need something like that once in their life time. But I know I can't. At least for now anyway.
So I guess my world trip solo will have to wait for some other time. Who knows maybe one day, world, I'll come after you.