December 7, 2010

Take me home country roads...

Seeing as my essay is not going anywhere and the more I re-read what I wrote so far, the more I realise it's a lot of bullshit, I have decided I'll leave it for now and write on my long-forgotten blog instead.

I've just been introduced to a song I really liked,  "Fuel Up" by Stornoway and there's one line of its lyrics which particularly stood out to me:

"Home is only a feeling you get in your mind from the people you love and you travel beside"

I couldn't relate to this more. When people ask me where I'm from I always end up saying Italy, but if you asked me where my home is... I can only answer where my family is. I guess because of the many times I've moved house and city I don't feel at home in a specific city. I don't feel I have a "hometown", I can tell you I was born in Trieste but... I've never lived there so I don't really consider it home. Home is where I'm around the people I love. 
There's a little bit of home in all the places I've been, all the poeple I've met and who have become important in my life. Home is a feeling. It's not a state. 

I have to admit, in the three years I've been studying away from home, this year is the one I've missed my family the most. I don't know if it's due to the "Peter Pan" syndrome I've been feeling lately, reminscing on my childhood, especially on the times I still believed in Santa (apologise if I've spoiled it for you... ). I just wish I could still have that feeling of excitment of writing the letter and waiting on Christmas Eve, sitting by the window, looking out for a sledge up in the sky. I believed in it so strongly that each year I was sure I had seen a light in the sky and heard the sound of bells... when I realised it was actually my parents putting the presents under the tree I think part of the little girl in me died... the other part... well I guess still believes that maybe, secretly, Santa does exist. 

Anyway my point was that I miss home, I miss my family. Just sitting all together at the table in the evening to have dinner, discussing the events of the day, just general family time. I'm really looking forward heading home next week (if the scots man up and let people travel!). 
My sister was telling me how excited she is that her school recital has been moved to the friday instead of the thursday meaning I'll be able to see her. It made me smile seeing her so happy I could make it to the recital!
I also miss my dog... waking up, walking downstairs and having her following and looking at me jumping histerically as if she hadn't seen me in forever. 
I'm definetly excited to go home and get in the festive mood, putting up decorations listening to Christmas songs, finally having my mum's cooking again... only 9 days left to go now! 

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